Settling In

I received our new highball and double old-fashioned glasses this morning. Super excited about that… they look beautiful:

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As far as fitness goes, I’ve made it to day 2/30 for my 5-Minute Plank challenge, and just started my 30 day walk to run challenge with a 15 minute walk/run combo this morning. It was quiet and beautiful and worshipful. I am trying to focus more on cardio and HIIT to drop the excess fat and burn calories, whilst doing some basic upper body strengthening exercises, since I really need that for both work and pole dance.

My pantry cupboard is reorganized and that alone makes me happy. I need to spend some time tonight and tomorrow morning/evening straightening up the upstairs, but, there’s really not much to do, now that we got the dishwasher working again. I need to make a trip to Home Depot, maybe Sunday, to get the right plug for my dryer (rather than using the old dryer that came with the house) and lightbulbs for outside the house. Still working on cataloging the books and unpacking the rest of the boxes in the basement. I need to build some shelves/cabinets… I’ll probably turn the dresser in my craft room into shelves instead of drawers, for easier storage of fabric.

Assuming the rest of my order from Williams-Sonoma gets here tomorrow (or Saturday), I can proceed to making bread on Sunday. Since we got the chest freezer, I have ROOM and can freeze things. This makes me practically giddy.

DH and I have been playing cribbage every night this week without fail. It’s an alternative to Sentinels (which is still played frequently… I just tried out Parse and she’s really interesting) and xbox. Since we finished play-through of Marvel Ultimate Alliance 2 whilst the stepson was here, I’m not really keen on playing through it again. Unfortunately Bioshock: Infinite is only 1-player (still not convinced that FPS are that great, but the story is both intriguing and triggering), and Mass Effect only becomes 2-player when I’m ready to Hulk-Smash my tv because I hate driving the MAKO.

P found me a washing machine drum, which we are going to turn into the base for my firepit. I just need to be able to afford the stones, and I will turn part of my backyard into a nice patio with a firepit. I’m really really excited about this. I’m also trying to see if I can build my own porch swing for less than it costs to buy one.

It gives me something to write to my sister about, who is, alas, still stuck in Army rehab. Right now, we’re each averaging about 2 letters a week to each other and it’s better than nothing. Least amount of contact we’ve had in over 10 years of knowing each other, eesh!

The spiritual side of things is on the up-and-up I think. I feel really good about stuff. There’s been a lot of hard work, and there is even more yet to come. I started ADF’s Dedicant Path, and am posting about that on a specific journal, just for it.

Now that I’ve waxed long about my life, in which you are entirely uninterested, I may or may not have something to report in a couple weeks on the job front. Positive thoughts and energy are requested… I need a consistent paycheck.

I’ll Be His Mrs… My Own Damn Person, thank you

I have made it through wedding planning, through the wedding and the various debacles presented therein, through the trials leading up to the honeymoon, and through the honeymoon. I have emerged fairly unscathed, considering all that was involved.

 

Since I have a month before school starts up again, I’m working on getting my house sussed. Unpacked, organized, decorated, etc. I have some artwork up on the walls and some family photos. I’m looking forward to getting some wedding photos up, as well.

 

I have a desk to set up in my room — my goal is to get that done this weekend. I’ll be moving my table down to the basement and organizing that. Our new chest freezer has proved very useful. Next on the list is to create a list, and probably computerize it, of what we have in fridge, freezer, and pantry. Pantry reorganization is nearly complete.

 

My altar is set up and all my magickal things are organized. Just got hangers and will be doing costumes next — then finishing fabric.

 

Next on the list is transitioning over to clean eating. Mostly moved my pastas over to whole wheat, and tortillas are next. I am thinking of making bread once a month. I want to start acquiring smaller amounts of vegetables and fruits, but getting them on a regular basis. I want to get rid of as much canned food as I can. I’ve been cutting back on my milk intake, which is good, and discovered I don’t mind vanilla almond milk for smoothies.

Once the stepson leaves, I can really get on with my workout schedule and meal schedule, as well as chores.

 

My attempts at plants were rudely interrupted by the unknown entity who mows my lawn, but I shall try again next spring, and probably look into some raised beds. I want herbs, and vegetables.

 

A day in the life…

Random Update

In a nutshell:

  • I went on an antidepressant and can actually concentrate and care!
  • Got a new job right before Yule, and things are going pretty well, even when I’m slow (averaging 10 massages a week right now, woohoo!)
  • Finished paying off my wedding dress! Now I just need to get bustier and shoes and I can see about getting it fit
  • Completed the design for wedding invitations and reply cards
  • Started working with the Morrigan. Taking it slow for starters, but, I know I need to start amping it up a little each month. January was my light a candle to her each night month. Not sure yet what February will bring, but, I’m looking forward to it.
  • I’m finally going back to school to finish my degree – orientation is Monday. I’m going to be majoring in Creative Writing, and I couldn’t be happier about it.
  • Spoke with recruiters and I can’t start paperwork until no more than six months prior to graduation. After my initial run in with the recruiters, I’m leaning Army over Air Force, but, I’m willing to pay the Air Force another visit in 18 months, to see if I get a better vibe.
  • I’m doing a 30 day squat challenge and a 30 day abs challenge. I’m day 11/30. Almost to the halfway mark. Week 2 of my NerdFitness challenge fizzled out due to Real Life (go to hell), but Week 3 was quite a comeback and Week 4 is going swell.

More later…

Defiant Kelari Corruptor Mage – Isistia

So, I kinda screwed up when I typed the name in: I meant to put Isistania, but didn’t. Oh well. It is pronounced Isis-tia, not Is-istia.

Just reached level 7 and I am really enjoying the storyline so far. Finally ready to start creating and destroying rifts!

I think that they do a good job with making the story something you can pick up with not knowing anything about it (I just downloaded it cuz a friend suggested it and said it was F2P). Not to mention, they make you feel like a badass saviour (at least as Defiant, I haven’t made a Guardian). Unlike World of Warcraft, where you do stupid things like kill bandits in a field, the quests seem to relate to progress through the story. It feels like there’s a reason behind your “random” killing sprees for XP and loot.

The interface is basically identical to WoW (at least from my brief stints with WoW). Not completely different from Lord of the Rings: Online, but the visuals of it are definitely WoW. Still trying to make sure my keymapping is redone to what I’m used to with LotRO.

The graphics are visually pleasing. Still feels more like a video game than LotRO, but, it lacks the cartoonish quality present in WoW. I, for one, am pleased by that. In addition, my character’s boobs are not outlandishly anime large. I ALWAYS appreciate that factor! I’m still waiting for boob size to be adjustable in an MMO… I mean, if they can do it in Sims…

The combat system seems fairly straightforward. They have a nice tutorial on the Soul Trees (Trait Trees in LotRO). You can choose to let the game automatically apply your points for you, or you can pick and choose. I like fire, so, I’m leaning heavier on the side of fire than the side of death, but heavier on death than poison stuff. It’s just how I roll.

Right now, it’s mostly button mashing, because I’m only 7, and you don’t really need much in the way of skill yet. I’ve re-formatted my skills in my quickslot bar, however, so, I’ll be trying to experiment with how they play off of each other.

This Ascended One is ready to start changing history.

Stuff.

I re-did my altar. That makes me feel better. I’m going to put out some water in my silver bowl tonight.

 

Anyway.

 

I started my new job today, and had my first massage there. It went really well. The client said afterward, “I feel like I’m on Cloud 9.” FISTPUMP. And, I have two massages already scheduled for Friday. For me, business is booming. ;)

I also picked up my antidepressants tonight. Today marks Day 1 of happy pills. We’ll see what happens?

More later when I’m not lazy.

Soup for the Soul

I’ve been having ups and downs and random breakdowns. Doesn’t PTSD ever just go away?

I start the homeopathics again tomorrow. I’m thinking of setting up some alarms on my phone for them and for my vitamins, so I actually remember to take them. Maybe taking them will help WITH my memory.

Inspired by a friend, I made some soup yesterday:

ImageNo real recipe, just threw stuff together. Browned some ground beef with two cloves of garlic and some onion powder (texture thing). Added one large-ish can of tomato sauce, a fair bit of water, about 3 bouillon cubes, a can of green beans, a can of pinto beans, some frozen carrots, and half a box of pasta. Add pepper, salt, thyme, oregano, rosemary, and a dash of sugar to help with the acidity, and voila! Hearty yumminess in a bowl.

Some things are starting to look up, though. There’s something tomorrow, and something else on Friday. Please send good vibes, energy, and thoughts. I’m hoping all goes well…

In the meantime, Project: Apothecary is underway. I’m working on creating a spell oil for Rhiannon – all the possibilities! Teeming of endlessness, but, I think I’m narrowing it down. Time to figure out exactly what ingredients I need to get for it, versus what I have on hand.

Turning of the Wheel

It’s that time of year again – my favourite holiday is coming up!

I’m disappointed that I will not be able to attend Yule ritual with my group, but, I am excited for my friend’s wedding. Give and take, I suppose.

J assisted me with setting up the tree, yesterday, and I hung some lights, garland, and tinsel around. Still not finished decorating, but, the tree is done! Everything is really starting to look festive and that helps me feel better. Plus, cranking out TSO on my surround sound?

I’m thinking of condensing altars. I’m not sure. Having shrines in my bedroom really… isn’t working? Not sure what to do, because I have next to no space on my altar table. I’m thinking I might shrink the shrines for now and keep them on part of my dresser, and re-do my altar with my Rhiannon statue and something for Cernunnos and, of course, some stuff for Yule. I think it’s time to change it up from how I have it, just for some extra spice in my life. The part of me that hates change is cringing, but, the rebel is excited.

This way, I can clear up some more “counter” space, and maybe if I’m not scattered everywhere in a home that is too small for me to actually live in, I can actually make the effort to “do” stuff.

I did pull out my herbal grimoire, and intend to really get down and dirty with that, even if I’m just doing one herbal update in it a week.

I’m currently plotting some spell oil or herbal blends for both Rhiannon and Cernunnos. I think it will be good.

Baby steps

I really don’t have any actual problems with my therapist. I just sometimes think that she’s more abstract than I want/need. It’s not that I don’t get what she’s saying. I just struggle with taking the ideas and putting them into practice.

I went to the co-op with J on Saturday. We picked up a number of things to hopefully help me pick up pieces, cope, and restart.

I got two homeopathic remedies, botg by Liddell Laboratories. One is “Overwhelmed” (and tastes like ass) and the other is “Anxiety.” The concept is   simple enough – herbal blends that I spray under my tongue three times a day.

Today is day 3 of taking them, but even J has commented that there’s a difference. I’m not crying at the drop of a hat and I’m dealing when things don’t go as planned.

Case in point: the gingerbread overflowed the 8″ cake pan I used in lieu of a 9″ square pan (that I don’t have), but, I dealt with it calmly and rationally, and moved on.

I also picked up some Valerian Root to help with sleep. I did get to sleep last night, with 1 pill (directions did say 3), but, nightmares all night, as usual.

I also picked up some primrose to help with libido, but   I haven’t tried yet. I think I’m nervous. What if it doesn’t work?

Follow Your Bliss

Yesterday was a turning point in my life. I received my Call to Adventure, or at least, I actually acknowledged it when the universe shoved it in my face. If you have not yet seen the documentary on Joseph Campbell, Finding Joe, I suggest that you remedy that. It is excellent. Moving imagery, his quotes, and discussion on them from a variety of sources.

It was a reminder that the only person standing in my way was me, and I just had to actually start walking my path, and not one other people think I should have. Their opinion doesn’t matter.

The only thing we have to fear is fear itself. – Franklin Delano Roosevelt, 1st Inaugural Address

 

All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us. – Gandalf, The Fellowship of The Ring (J.R.R. Tolkien)

 

Courage is not the absence of fear but rather the judgment that something is more important than fear; the brave may not live forever but the cautious do not live at all. – Meg Cabot, The Princess Diaries

The one thing that has not changed since I was a very small child is my love of Story. I created them. I told them. I acted them out to myself every chance I got–doing dishes, walking the dog, even schoolwork. I wrote them. I had notebooks full of story ideas. I had word documents on every computer. I wrote my first novel at the age of fourteen. Every story is the same: every story follows the hero’s journey. But, every story is different. Every story I ever wrote or told was my story, and it was not my story. It was my character’s story. It was my listener’s story.

If I am never financially successful with writing, then so be it. I do not write for money. I write for Story. I write to express my thoughts and feelings, philosophy, emotions. I write to share. I write for bliss.

You fail only if you stop writing. – Ray Bradbury

 

Fill your paper with the breathings of your heart. – William Wordsworth

 

All stories are true. – Skarpi, The Name of the Wind (Patrick Rothfuss)

And, I realised something else. When I first read Patrick Rothfuss’ The Name of the Wind, I felt swept on a dance, through a symphony a whirl of music and emotion. I wanted that. It reminded me of when I read The Silmarillion and the creation of Arda. I am working with Rhiannon. Music is an offering to her, and to me, stories are the music that is written down. It feels oddly fitting. I am content. I am inspired. I must journey. I cannot sit still. And I am discontent to stay.

It’s the new year

…for witches, at least.

Sometimes I wonder if I’m just standing here and there’s a wind blowing about me that catches random things in its tendrils. New job, wedding, etc.

In betwixt NaNo, sewing for CRF next weekend, K coming to visit, and trying to keep track of which way is up, I realise that I don’t always remember to take the time to just breathe. Life keeps trucking, and it will whirl you along at its own pace. Sometimes, I just have to relax and let it carry me. After all, it takes more than one person to keep a ship sailing.

I have some good thoughts for the coming year. Things will work out. Between cons, birthdays, journeys, rituals, weddings, and mortgages… yeah. It’ll be good.

Now, happy writing. You have 29 more days – keep those pencils sharp!